Pruetts.com

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m taking a course on Communication and Leadership Skills presented by the Dale Carnegie Course. Last night we had to give a short speech on a lesson we had learned and present it in the format:

1. Incident
2. Action
3. Benefit

The Incident is what happened - what’s the basic story that illustrates the point. The Action is the advice or point you want to share. Finally the Benefit describes what will be to the hearers advantage if they elect to take your advice or accept your point. We were told to share the Action we want to the audience to take in the format of, “My advice to you is …” We’d then share the Benefit in the format, “When you do …”

I shared the story below and had some very interesting feedback:

I was about seven or eight years old, living in a hut in a remote jungle of the Philippines with my parents who were missionaries. One day I asked my Dad to show me how we got the chicken meat that we often enjoyed at dinner. That afternoon we went outside to the area where we kept the chickens. My Dad caught one of the chickens and quickly wrung its neck. I helped hold the chicken on the chopping block and my Dad “surgically removed” the head with a machete.

Well, immediately the body sprung out of my hands and started flailing all around, running and bumping into things until it finally collapsed. My Dad picked up the dead body, had my Mom clean it, and said, “That’s where chicken comes from.”

My advice to you is be curious and ask questions. When you do you might get a good show.
— Jeff Pruett

After the evening was over, I caught up with some co-workers and one of them was obviously upset. Apparently my talk had seemed too insensitive to her as she cares deeply for animals. I tried to reassure her that the chicken felt nothing after it had it’s neck wrung. The rest of the action was just reflexes. It didn’t help. I hadn’t meant to offend, but realized that I wouldn’t be able to patch things up either. In the end, we went our separate ways, and hopefully she was able to accept my apology and move beyond the evening. We’ll see next week!

When solving “impossible” problems, ask yourself:
- Is there an easier way?
- Am I solving the right problem?
- *Why* is this a problem?
- What makes it hard?
- Do I have to do it this way?
- Does it have to be done at all?

From The Pragmatic Programmer

You can accomplish anything you want in life provided you don’t mind who gets the credit.
— Harry S. Truman

Our city league men’s volleyball team took the title yesterday. We had a playoff with the team that had the second best record - we only lost once all season long (14 weeks or so), and beat them at least twice.

We had some great players on our team, and it was fun to be part of a team playing at such a high level. Our opponents played great, and actually took the first game from us (the match was best of 3). We fought back and ended up winning the next two to take home the trophy and a commemorative t-shirt. I’ve only won a handful of championships - whether recreation, high-school sports, or whatever - but this was a sweet one.

Actually, come to think of it, our city league tennis team also won the title this summer! How cool is that? Apparently some of the teams in the tennis league are recruiting talent for the next season (starts after Labor Day). I’m going to have to spend some time the next couple of weekends with a hopper full of balls and serve til my arm falls off.

Like John Wooden says, “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” I need to prepare by practicing my serve. Then I’ll be on my game for the new season, no matter who my opponent is.

The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare.
— Thane Yost

Some groups are more challenging than others to get past the barriers we naturally put up in group settings. Generating genuine discussion in a group takes strategic effort on behalf of the leader. I came up with three principles I try to implement as I lead, hopefully theyll help you as well:

1. Active Listening: As leaders, our behavior is a model for the rest of the group. Developing good listening skills is critical to keeping an active dialogue alive in the group. I find that when I lose eye contact with the speaker, or start shuffling through my notes to find the next question the group tends to drift off topic, or even lose momentum. I have to be careful to listen well to each member of the group so that the others in the group follow my lead.
   

2. Show Genuine Interest: I notice that as I take the time to develop relationships with members of the groups I lead they become more willing to share in the group setting. Developing a genuine interest in them and investing in our friendship encourages them to participate even more.
   

3. Give Sincere Appreciation: I am not always good at this, but I have seen more experienced leaders give honest, sincere appreciation in subtle ways to each person that contributes in their small group and have great success. I try to look for ways to affirm the members in my group as they participate. Something as simple as, “Thank you for sharing that Todd. I think we can all learn something from that insight,” may be enough to show my appreciation and encourage future involvement in the group.
   

I’ve often wondered how common my last name is. It turns out the U.S. Census Bureau lets you search the results of the 1990 U.S. Census and see how popular a given name was.

I did a quick search on the surname Pruett, naturally, and found I have the 2,243rd most common last name in the U.S. Not terribly impressive, but the name Pruitt is number 619, which explains why so many people try to spell my name with an ‘i’ instead of an ‘e’.

The name Jeff is ranked number 120 for males, which made me feel slightly better about my poor showing in the last name category.

If you’d like to visit the U.S. Census site and check it out for your name, click here.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
— Henry David Thoreau, Walden

One of my favorite quotes of all time. Thoreau nailed it when he wrote this one.

RELAXATION AND RECREATIONS
The most relaxing recreating forces are a healthy religion, sleep, music, and laughter*.
Have faith in God — learn to sleep well — love good music — see the funny side of life — and health and happiness will be yours.
— Author unknown

* They forgot “play basketball weekly” in the prescription. Otherwise I have to say this is spot on.

I was shooting baskets outside our house Sunday afternoon when a kid who was maybe 12 came up and asked if he could join me. I said sure, and he started shooting around with me.

Well it wasn’t long and I could tell he was more than a bit cocky. He kept saying, “Brick!” every time I shot a basket - trying to make me miss. If you don’t know me, there’s nothing that grates on me more than an ego with nothing to back it up. (Probably because I have an ego and can’t back it up, but that’s a topic for another day!)

The kid was starting to irritate me, so I asked him if he thought he could make 10 shots in a row from right in front of the basket. Of course he was sure he could do it. So I asked him, “If you miss, will you do 10 push-ups? I’ll do them if I miss.”

“Oh yeah. I do push-ups for football all the time.”

He missed the first shot.

I said, “Alright, you get one miss,” and handed him the ball to try again. He made two in a row, then missed again. To my surprise, he dropped and started doing his push-ups. I had expected him to try to negotiate his way out of them, but he pumped out 10 push-ups.

I took the ball and promptly sank my 10 shots. We continued the drill from a couple of other spots until I could tell he couldn’t do any more push-ups. I had to do a couple of push-ups at one point as I missed from a corner spot, and I think that probably made him feel better.

In the end, I could see that even though the kid was a bit cocky, he at least wasn’t afraid of a challenge, or unwilling to work hard. That impressed me, and left me a little less irked by his original attitude. I’m not sure I’d have the guts to go up to a college kid when I was 12 and ask, “Can I shoot hoops with you?”